Dealing with the depression of losing a loved one.

3 years ago I lost my grandmother to breast cancer and it was one of the hardest thing I had to experience. Not only was the loss of my grandmother sad enough but witnessing how my mother crumbled over the loss of her mother was heartbreaking and I felt useless and out of loss of words to comfort her. in the days and weeks after my grandma's death my mother lost all interst in life, she spent her days crying at home with out any motivation to do anything. There was nothing that anyone of us could do to make her feel better. Not even our pastor was able to get her out of her feelings of depression. Finally my mother agreed to go to a mental health counselor and talk about her feelings and also agreed to see her doctor for antidepressants. She was given Zoloft and with twice a week visits to the therapist, within a few weeks she was able to finally come to terms with the loss and continue with her everyday activities without breaking down and crying. After 2 months she got off the meds but she still sees the therapist every once in a while, not as often anymore but during the time of the holidays or grandma's birthday she makes an appt. Weird thing is that she goes to the therapy sessions and when she comes back she doesnt tell us a thing of what happened, but we can clearly see her in a better state of mind.
 
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The same happened to my aunt when we lost a cousin in a car crash. It's been over 2 years, and she doesn't seem to get better. I guess that losing a son is the worst thing that can happen to a mother
 
One of the best way to solve this problem is to beat your mind and stop thinking about that, in this circumstance new hobby might help, but you got to understand that death will come sooner or later and there is only one choice to live as in the past.
 
I think that Halishas is right, you need to stop thinking about that and get new hobbies, just as well, changing a little bit your lifestyle, that way, you might not spend so much time thinking about it
 
Archeon, I am so sorry for your loss. As I was reading your post I was close to crying. I really don't know what I would do if tomorrow I lost both my parents, I think I would go insane and kill myself. Seriously, my parents are my life and I don't know how I would do without them in my life. Im just not prepared to face life without them. I really wished there was a way I could help you, i hope you have good friends and a family to support you. Have you tried your local church for help? I know my local church back home worked with many organizations that included mental health help centers and they offered free services.
 
archeon said:
My mother died and my father and I were a wreck. Dad tried to be strong and was a tough old bird, but this was too much for him and he had heart problems months later and died. I swear it was because of a broken heart. I tried to spend as much time as I could with my dad, and understand his pain, but I was grieving so hard myself that I couldn't deal much better than he did. When he died, I lost it and two years later I still feel completely lost. I basically just bury myself in work to shut out the pain, but I know that something is broken inside. I don't really enjoy anything anymore and every day I feel sad and worried that the future will come crashing down around me. I hope to see someone soon, but finding it difficult with no insurance and limited employment.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is don't give in. Try to find new ways to continue on. I made the mistake of letting too much of my life go and I am now trying to build it back up, but it's a rough climb.
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I'm sorry to hear about how difficult it's been to lose some very important people in your life. At the same time I'd like to 'pat you on the back' for trying to make the best of that situation. I know grief can be overwhelming. I've heard it said that when you lose someone who is very close to you it may take as long as 2 years to move through the grieving process. When I was a hospice volunteer I was told that some people get stuck in their grief. It sounds like you're doing your best to pull yourself up out of it.

We all travel through the valley of grief at certain times in our life, however, it's important that we not pitch a tent and camp there.
 
Shiek

Shiek

Member
I haven't lost any human member in my family which is something that I know that's capable of wrecking anyone affected.

But I have lost my dog and I was so devastated. I started taking care of her from puppy stage but she was killed in a hit and run.
 
Unfortunately, this can happen to many when they lose a loved one and it can take a while to come out of the depressive state that you end up in, some people even need medical help for it. The best way to deal with it though is to try and find things to take your mind away from it, and spend time with friends and family who can also help you. It takes time but you can get through it.
 
It gets more difficult especially when you're so much attached to the person who died. It's going to be very hard for you to face the reality and move on. I was devastated when my best died of cancer after everything his family did to save him.
 
When my guardian died, I didn't do much. The only food I ate all day was cry. I will cry in the morning, afternoon and at night. I have been trying myself to move on from the pain but the more I see a new day, the more I will continue to cry.
It hasn't been easy but I am getting better now and I will be much better.
 
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