Raising children while dealing with depression

xXxDianexXx

New member
This has been one of hardest issues my depression has caused. I have children under 5 and raising them has been very hard on me. My depression makes every aspect of raising them just so hard. When I am on my medication I have absolutely no ambition and just don't care if the kids write all over the walls, cut holes in the sofa, etc... So I have been trying hard to limit my meds to bedtime making the days go by longer and my depression harder to cope with.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Anyway have advise from personal experiences?

Any help would be great.
 

Cristina

New member
I don't have any kids and I admire those that do, especially parents that live with depression. Have you tried splitting the dosis, taking half in the morning and the other half at night? One of my girlfriends was taking Vivactil for her depression and experienced similar side effects that you mentioned. Her dosis was once a day so she would take it every day in the mornings hoping she would feel the better throughout the day instead the meds seemed to make her a zombie. Her doctor recommended to split the dosis so she would take half a pill in the morning and the other half at night and that helped.
 

Halishas

New member
I suggest you to ask assistance of your husband, or try hire a babysitter, i know it is expensive but don't forget Health is the greatest asset.
 

Emily

New member
If the medicine is the problem then you should maybe try other medications. Of course a little help from family members to take care of the children at least once a week would be good for you to get some rest.
 

Skypower

New member
When my parents got divorced, my mother became depressed, and she had to take care of me, my brother and my sister. Luckily, we were already grown up to take care of our mother.
 

Halishas

New member
By the way, one of the best to take down depression is to take holiday, go on vacation, or just be alone for some time and don't allow anyone to disturb you.
 

Skypower

New member
Vacations and holidays are a great choice, but there is a big problem: The money. Depressed people who are raising their children alone might not be able to work very well, and might not be able to go on holidays
 

Walter

New member
You have to give your medication time to work,and take your pills as prescribed.I am raising children with a mental illness,and yes it is difficult.You can do it.I am taking 9 pills a day right now,seems like alot but they are small doses,so it seems like alot of pills.
I'll admit I feel alot better,and maybe you need to adjust your medications,some make people drowsy and the same med can also speed another person up.Go have a talk with your family doctor if you can.
 

Skypower

New member
Medications can help you a lot, but you need to find something to do, instead of thinking about your depression, something like taking care of your children, think about them
 
You may want to look into a support group. That way you have some people you can count on for help. Plus, it is much easier to cope when you have support from people who understand your illness. People who don't understand mental health problems tend to give advice that makes you feel guilty about the problems you're having, which isn't exactly helpful.

I heard a good description by someone once who said addressing your mental health when you have children is just like putting on an oxygen mask during an emergency. You put the mask on yourself first so that you will stay conscious to help put the mask on your kids. If you can't take care of yourself, you won't be able to do a very good job taking care of your kids either.
 
criticalthinking has a point. A support group maybe the way to go. There is a lot of support in these groups and they may even be able to give you a person to call in case of emergency, similar to a sponsor for AA.

That's a good idea. I didn't even think about the idea that she may be able to find a group that has sponsor-type people you can call when things get really rough. Having someone to talk to really does make a big difference!
 

scoobydooa

New member
I myself have dealt with depression in the past. It was more of a situational depression and some anxiety, not chronic but it was still pretty bad. I eventually stopped taking my anti depressants and several months later found out I was pregnant. During that time I was very happy and calm. After I gave birth to my son I started feeling like I may have postpartum depression. I don't have as much motivation sometime myself and this is without being prescribing anything. I am nursing and just do not want to risk it even if they doctor said it was okay.. there is still a chance it could harm my child.

Now, back to your situation, you definitely need to talk to your doctor and try a different antidepressant if you have been on the one you are on for at least a couple months. I had to try several in the past to find one that worked for me. Also, to get myself out of my depression I will play with my baby, sing to him, read to him, put fun music on and just have fun with him. This always seems to help! I would suggest you try to interact with your kids more, rather then just watch them run a muck. I am not saying you are a bad parent, I am just saying that not being active is not going to help your depression either.. It may be hard at first, I know from experience, but you will get there.
 
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Livvi

New member
I am a single mother of 3, so I can totally sympathize with how difficult it is. There is nothing wrong with feeling like you cannot cope, it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother. Coping with children is difficult, even without depression and there are many agencies in place to help people just like you. I would suggest a trip back to the doctor and explain to him exactly what you have said in your post. Medication may only be helping part of the problem, you may need counseling and other support. Good Luck.
 
I agree with scooby that you may need to try a different antidepressant. Some of the problems you described are among the warning symptoms that you're having a bad reaction to an antidepressant. A different medication may work better for you.
 

SadMummy

New member
my experience

I have had a similar situation - having a child and being depressed. I have accessed a nanny in the home for 4 hours each day to help with arsenic hour and settling her into bed. But, I hear you it is hard to balance the sedative nature of the medication with the anti anxiety effects. I try and wait til midday before I take my first anti anxiety tablet - and then use the rest to help me sleep - but it does make for a stressful, exhausting and often very anxious day.
 
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