SarahLizzie
New member
I fear that I may be developing anorexia, but I hate to admit it. I should be thrilled, i recently lost over 60 pounds, I went from a womens size 18 down to a juniors 7/9. This is the thinnest I have ever been in my life, and the weight struggle has been there since I was a little girl.
I work as a cook in the restaurant industry, so it usually involves many long shifts, frequently without a break. Since I am unable to get a break, I generally go a 16 hour day without eating more than a few french fries here and there, totaling maybe 5 to 6 fries all day on these types of days. Then when I get home from work I am so tired and sick of the smell of food that I have no desire to eat. The sight and smell of food makes me sick to my stomach.
Then I have the days where I am home with the children, or I am before or after a 6-8 shift. I have two girls, a 5 year old and a 15 month old. The 15 month old has had chronic asthmatic episodes since she was born, so she is always quite a handful. Plus getting her to eat table foods is a full time job in itself half the time. So between cooking for both of my children and fighting with them to eat, I forget to eat myself. I become so involved in everything else that is going on. On the rare days that I can eat when the girls are eating, if my boyfriend is home I typically end up taking care of him. He is a brittle diabetic who is having alot of difficulties with his sugar dropping lately.
So in the midst of any given day through the day I end up not hving time to eat anything myself. Then by night time I am too exhausted and frustrated or just sickened by the smell of food I do not eat. Unfortunately this results in me eating maybe 2-3 full meals each week. It's been great for my weight loss though! However, I have been concerned with how quickly the weight came off, and for the last 3 weeks I have been unemployed (I have a new job starting right after Thanksgiving), so when my boyfriend gets home from work at night, if he cooks something I will sit down and eat dinner with him after the children are in bed. Now every time I look i the mirror I feel like I look like I am gaining weight, and it sickens me. It makes me eager to get back to work and into my a different, crazier routine so that I do not have the oppurtunity to sit down and eat tons of food, and I am back to being extremely active. I figure I will conitue to lose more weight, which secretly excites me.
Anytime my boyfriend wants me to eat with him I do, but I feel like if I do thats another meal in another day that I was able to eat, which is going to make me gain all this weight back. So I typically do not eat much of it anymore.
Is this a sign that I am devoloping an eating disorder? Or am I over thinking everything?
I work as a cook in the restaurant industry, so it usually involves many long shifts, frequently without a break. Since I am unable to get a break, I generally go a 16 hour day without eating more than a few french fries here and there, totaling maybe 5 to 6 fries all day on these types of days. Then when I get home from work I am so tired and sick of the smell of food that I have no desire to eat. The sight and smell of food makes me sick to my stomach.
Then I have the days where I am home with the children, or I am before or after a 6-8 shift. I have two girls, a 5 year old and a 15 month old. The 15 month old has had chronic asthmatic episodes since she was born, so she is always quite a handful. Plus getting her to eat table foods is a full time job in itself half the time. So between cooking for both of my children and fighting with them to eat, I forget to eat myself. I become so involved in everything else that is going on. On the rare days that I can eat when the girls are eating, if my boyfriend is home I typically end up taking care of him. He is a brittle diabetic who is having alot of difficulties with his sugar dropping lately.
So in the midst of any given day through the day I end up not hving time to eat anything myself. Then by night time I am too exhausted and frustrated or just sickened by the smell of food I do not eat. Unfortunately this results in me eating maybe 2-3 full meals each week. It's been great for my weight loss though! However, I have been concerned with how quickly the weight came off, and for the last 3 weeks I have been unemployed (I have a new job starting right after Thanksgiving), so when my boyfriend gets home from work at night, if he cooks something I will sit down and eat dinner with him after the children are in bed. Now every time I look i the mirror I feel like I look like I am gaining weight, and it sickens me. It makes me eager to get back to work and into my a different, crazier routine so that I do not have the oppurtunity to sit down and eat tons of food, and I am back to being extremely active. I figure I will conitue to lose more weight, which secretly excites me.
Anytime my boyfriend wants me to eat with him I do, but I feel like if I do thats another meal in another day that I was able to eat, which is going to make me gain all this weight back. So I typically do not eat much of it anymore.
Is this a sign that I am devoloping an eating disorder? Or am I over thinking everything?
