hey,
Lately I have been feeling worthless..from as far as i can remember I have always been shy..hell my parents even tell me that they were worried about me when I started kindergarden because I was so quiet and shy.
Anyway, After hanging out with the same people from kindergarden until grade 6, I was starting to be more open to people and more talkative, and then we moved to another country!! I spent the next three years trying to make new friends and missing the old ones, and since I was a quiet person it was pretty hard making friends. Anyway I took refuge in school, and although I wasn't the "best student" I would always get good grades, taking in account that I barely studied.
So, I survived high school..I missed alot of opportunities in high school that I regret, for example When i was in grade 10 my gym teacher practically asked me every day to join the wrestling team because she thought I had potential, but from some reason I didn't..I wish i had now..
I got accepted into all the universities I applied too and decided to get as far away from home as I could.
Away from parents and everyone I knew, and living on my own, I started opening up to people, started working out regularly to get in shape and did exceptionally well in the first year of university. I somehow survived the second year as well but lost interest in studies all together. And then last year I flunked university and got kicked out of my program! and the life time of depression just kicked in!
Now i feel worthless, never made any true friends, or was at the top of my class, or won a trophy in a sport (I did play soccer in the high school team) or just enjoyed life. The only thing I thought I had going for me was that I thought I would survive university too and get a good job, make some money and travel around the world, even on my own, and just enjoy it on my own, and now thats ruined too...
Now beside being depressed because I failed, I think more about what I am going to tell my parents and how they are going to react...
Any one went through this in their life time? I don't need the typical "it'll get better" advices ...
Thanks
Lately I have been feeling worthless..from as far as i can remember I have always been shy..hell my parents even tell me that they were worried about me when I started kindergarden because I was so quiet and shy.
Anyway, After hanging out with the same people from kindergarden until grade 6, I was starting to be more open to people and more talkative, and then we moved to another country!! I spent the next three years trying to make new friends and missing the old ones, and since I was a quiet person it was pretty hard making friends. Anyway I took refuge in school, and although I wasn't the "best student" I would always get good grades, taking in account that I barely studied.
So, I survived high school..I missed alot of opportunities in high school that I regret, for example When i was in grade 10 my gym teacher practically asked me every day to join the wrestling team because she thought I had potential, but from some reason I didn't..I wish i had now..
I got accepted into all the universities I applied too and decided to get as far away from home as I could.
Away from parents and everyone I knew, and living on my own, I started opening up to people, started working out regularly to get in shape and did exceptionally well in the first year of university. I somehow survived the second year as well but lost interest in studies all together. And then last year I flunked university and got kicked out of my program! and the life time of depression just kicked in!
Now i feel worthless, never made any true friends, or was at the top of my class, or won a trophy in a sport (I did play soccer in the high school team) or just enjoyed life. The only thing I thought I had going for me was that I thought I would survive university too and get a good job, make some money and travel around the world, even on my own, and just enjoy it on my own, and now thats ruined too...
Now beside being depressed because I failed, I think more about what I am going to tell my parents and how they are going to react...
Any one went through this in their life time? I don't need the typical "it'll get better" advices ...
Thanks